Sick physically and sick of this situation

I've been gone for almost 3 weeks and I feel something has changed. I'm not talking about the people around me... it's me. I feel that something in me has changed. I'm cursing more & I'm almost always in a foul mood. Damn that China trip! I love the country and the people but experiencing what I've experienced really did something to me. I've never had someone treat me that way. I've never been screamed at that way. I've never feared going to work like how I did while I was there. I hated every moment of it and I couldn't wait to get home.

There was no time to breathe much less explore the place... I'm not exaggerating. I couldn't even eat with that bitch watching - it was like eating was a waste of time and for someone who doesn't really eat much that look can really kill me. We couldn't even check our mails or take calls from our teammates at home. We were cut off from everything. We were doing what she tells us to do and that was that. We were told NOT to think and simply do whatever she commands us to do like a couple of robots following our master. I didn't finish college to act the way someone wants me to act or follow through on something just because I was ordered to. I knew that whatever she wants us to do would lead us to more complications in the future but she just doesn't care! I know it's her name on the line but still. I wanted to scream - LISTEN UP, BITCH! - cause every time we try to explain the process to her she shuts us up and tells us to just show her. What the fuck?! Show you without explaining? I doubt she has this video recorder in her head or something that she can wind and rewind whenever she wants to review the steps. What's more she expects you to finish the report she wants given 2 hours without any mistakes at all and with her asking for it every 5 minutes! Damn! Leave me alone, bitch! Of course, I couldn't stop myself from crying from frustration that day. She was all "What did you do to this report?!" when she collected it before I could review it. How the heck can anyone work that way?! 

Leaving her behind was the best for me. Leaving one of my so called friends behind made my day as well. I didn't expect that. If I've told myself before the trip that you'll be leaving one of your friends behind and be happy about it I would seriously hit myself. But then i didn't know that "she" was like that at all. That she was flirty, that she would allow a guy to sleep with her in our condo apartment without telling me. Yeah, she did say he was coming up but not that he was sleeping over. Some kind of warning would be great, you know! I could have met him in the hallway after showering with only a towel to cover me. I know he's a great guy but still.... a little courtesy would be great, you know! Also, bad mouthing other people behind their backs then crying asking "What did i ever do to them" after those same people answer you back through email is a bit off. You don't know what you did? seriously? You're helping destroy one whole team and you don't know why they're now going against you?! Come on! I finally saw WHY most of the people in the office did not like her especially after having spent time with her in China. I finally see the light! So now all i have to say is - you're going down, bitch! 

Now what's frustrating me is that my team is under attack. Seriously? How the heck can you blame a team for fucking up on some things when they were simply thrown into the fray without receiving the proper training?! An hour and a half of training on SAP can not be considered proper training. Whoever says that it is is an asshole! How can this be done to a team that has worked hard to keep up with the changes?! How can this be done to a team that until now has been striving hard to keep up, who takes the bullshit their customers throw at them since nothing is shipping out?! How can they think of removing a team of hard working people who can do the job if only given the proper training?! I, for one, believe in our team and believe that someone over in China is, yet again, destroying the teams image. That's what they're good at - pointing the finger when they can't resolve an issue. 

Argh!! I'm seriously pissed. 

I'm sick and I'm sick of this situation.

Rebel against a freaking gnome!

Do you know how irritating and hard it is to work under a man who is half my size but has an ego ten times as big? It's awful! I don't know how many times a day I replay pushing him off the building or tripping him down a flight of stairs. 

Yesterday was just too much for me and I'm now rebelling against a tyrant. Who in the world goes to the doctor just after a day of fever?! I did! Why? Because our false king, our annoying little midget just had to order me to get a med cert to prove my condition. Ha! damn fool! I've been plotting all day yesterday how I'd get back at him... and the doctor gave me the best opportunity. I've asked for 3 days rest, now the office has to do without me for 3 days... they'll have a hard time, that's for sure... but then again it's not my fault. The ugly, mangy thing made me do it. If only I could destroy everything he has, he's destroyed enough for us but I can't stop there... I want him fired! And when that day comes I'll look at him and say..."Hello gnome, I'm the bitch who got you fired" oh! sweet, glorious day! Now i plot, plot plot plotting... I know I'm more than i seem, when i plan, i follow through... and when i follow through i know i'll achieve something. That something is getting the hell bone fired!

First Entry

The first few words usually are the hardest to write. The writer has to think of the message he plans to convey then the best way to express it. Easy enough until you actually start writing. "How to begin?" "What should i write first?" "How do i capture the interest of many?" "How do i lead my readers from one point to another?" - a few questions that would plague the writer endlessly until he/ she has finally grasp the words that best fits the equation.

As a writer I have often stared at a blank page for hours before the perfect first lines are written down and the story can finally begin. For the past months I have not written anything substantial, nothing that I can call good just because I couldn't formulate a simple, good, catching first line. The beginning is always the hardest, after getting through that hurdle it's almost a breeze. I find that once i have my intro down my hands just won't stop writing, everything just flows out of me .

How you begin is very important, a good beginning can lead to a good middle and end, but this takes talent, thought, experience and perseverance.

Life is no different from writing. The beginning of something can mean so much in the story you would want to tell. It's true that a good start is important, but it is also essential to remember that everyone controls their life story, it is the twists and turns that makes the plot interesting, these twists and turns can also determine your end, it's just as simple as making the right choices, then again choosing the right path has not always been easy and never will be easy. No one lives a boring life, the choices we make makes sure of this and at the end of every choice there's sure to be a new lesson learned. This is life.

This being my first entry i wish to convey that here i begin a new chapter of my life. I've written down the story of my youth, it's time to write further as I take one step after another through a new door that has opened to me. Through it I know i will face much more of those twists and turns, I'm sure I will fall down some of the times, if I'm lucky, but I know I will get up again and continue on. I've already written the first few lines, it's time to write on...